Social Skills Training and Rewards: Five Tips to Tailor Your System to a Perfect Fit for Your Child

If you want to improve how your kids respond to yourhave deteriorated. At times he does not earn his
behavior change program, you may need to fine-tunepoints, that in itself is a penalty so you need do nothing
your reward system. Here are six key questions tomore. Refocus on the positive.
guide you to create rewards to a tailor-made fit to6. Are you following through with your part? Parents,
your child's individuality.educators and caregivers are busy people and what
1. Do your rewards have enough novelty to keep yoursometimes is neglected, as a result, is their very vital
child motivated? Even the most fun and uniquerole. A most common reason that a well-crafted
rewards get old. Keep updated with rewards thatbehavior program does not work is because the adults
propel your children and students to keep workingget too busy and those essential and exciting check
towards a goal. Fine tune and freshen up rewardsmarks, parent initials or tokens don't get handed out. If it
before their appeal fizzles out.is impossible to be there consistently, let the tracking
2. Are you overlooking praise as a natural and easysystem be self-administering, where your child is on the
to deliver reward? Praise blossoms self-esteem.honor system. You might be delighted by how he or
Praise is a compelling motivator. Kids love to hear theirshe honors the agreement. It is okay to commit only to
parents and teachers be proud of them. Praise thewhat you comfortably can do. And you will see, the
deed. "Good job on the clean-up. I don't see a specktime you give up now will pay off dramatically in the
of dirt!"time and relief that will be your reward.For more on
3. Are you rewarding for effort? Build success intorewards in your behavior change program, see
your behavior program. Make sure your child cancompanion articles:Social Skills and Rewards: Five Tips
count on achievement. If a reward is getting an A, setfor Tailoring your Behavior Change System to a
it up so the child has opportunities to get the thrill of anPerfect Fit for your ChildSocial Skills and Your
A.Behavior Change Program: Troubleshooting When the
4. Are your rewards scheduled frequently enough?Rewards Aren't WorkingEllen Mossman-Glazer M.Ed.
Remember the objective of a reward is to reinforceis a Life Skills Coach and Behavior Specialist. She is
positive behavior. That means giving your childthe author of two on line e-zines, Emotion Matters:
encouragement to keep doing the good thing. If theTools and Tips for Parents, Educators and Caregivers
goal is a tougher for your child to achieve, set up yourand Social Skills: The Micro Steps. Subscribe for free
program to give little rewards or partial points along theand see more about Ellen at You can take a free mini
way for effort or steps taken toward an end goal.assessment which Ellen will reply to with your first
5. Are you keeping the focus on positive behaviors?action step. Over her 20 years in special education
Play down points not earned. You want your child toclassrooms and treatment settings, Ellen has seen the
keep the thrill of earning in his mind and you do this bystruggle that children and adults have when they feel
keeping the focus on building the points orthey don't fit in. Currently she works in private practice
accumulating the tokens. Allow your child to keephelping parents, educators, caregivers and their
points once earned no matter how the scene maychallenging loved ones find the tools to thrive.